4/4/07

What's everyone complainin' 'bout?

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I don't get the fuss around this Sanjaya Malakar guy from American Idol. Warning: I have a feeling this is going to be a long rant post. Let me state for the record that I do not like American Idol, or Canadian Idol or any idol. I do not watch these shows. I think they contribute to the general dumbing down of our society and to the acceptance of the mediocre. Who can appreciate art after being subjected to hour after hour of Simon being a dick to some deluded, finger-snapping cartoonish man or woman thinking that their horrible voice is a gift from God and thus it is their responsibility to share it with the world? And btw, what the hell is Paula flippin Abdul doing being a judge? She can't sing! Maybe she could dance a little back in the day, but now, she can barely even speak. What's wrong with her jaw anyway? How come she has such difficulty moving it and enunciating? Or is she drunk all the time as has been claimed? I really don't care if she does like the drink ... I just wonder how such a mediocre "talent" became a judge? And how is it that Simon doesn't turn around to her and snap, "You can's sing! Stop telling people they are pitchy!"
But really, isn't the landscape of television filled with such classics as "My Wife and Kids" and "Trouble with Jim"? Forgive me if I get the names wrong ... I would really rather prefer to call them "Pieces of Crap" because aren't they just that? Vapid little nuggets of banality interspersed with commercials urging us to consume more? All this anesthetises us to what is really going on out there. I understand all too well. The world is depressing ... with the polar bears quickly heading towards exctinction and the environment getting to the point of no return and people wearing fur and the starving children. It's all going to hell and no one cares, it seems. Everyone comes home from jobs they hate, sits their ass down in front of the TV and watches and watches while sucking on a beer or a joint. I get it. It's the path of least resistance. It's not that I hate TV. I LOVE TV. I love Dexter (yum), I think The Sopranos is operatic, and Prison Break (Season 1) was quite good for regular TV. These shows are not dumbed down for a consumer audience; they rightly assume that the audience has the intellectual acumen to understand.

But for people to get all up and offended because someone supposedly can't sing is too funny! Och, the irony. My sides, my sides! Gwen Stephani gets all anyways because Sanjaya might do one of her songs? Who does she think she is? Maria Callas?! Bitch please, you can barely sing yourself. You have molded yourself into a consumer product for mass consumption by the mass audience, so do NOT go getting all "he ain't good enough for my songs" on us. And besides, the guy can sing. He's a great entertainer. He would be a fine Idol. He is exactly what the show is about, bland, forgettable and slighly cheesy entertainment. This is the show, folks. Don't tell me Clay Gaiken was an artist, some sort of Caruso.

Remember William Hung from a few seasons ago? Talk about mean-spirited. But I suppose this is what passes for humour in our culture. We're all just way too cool for school, eh?

This picture is featured on a magnet and is one of the many Hung products available today.

This poor guy sincerely auditioned for Idol, performing "She Bangs." Of course, it was a bomb, but somehow this guy gathered a freaky cult following. He himself was not in on the joke. Yeah, I know, a lot of people said he was laughing all the way to the bank, but that is not the point. What was everyone laughing at? Let's watch of video of him and then I post part II.


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1 comment:

Mateus said...

i beg to differ against the whole "ban idol" business...take for example...portuguese idol(yes...here i go again) they had a season, a young girl won and she got the whole shebang, CD AND a tv show.
now heres the fun part: on the TV show, she plays the role of a conservative housemaid who can sing and falls inlove with her employer. now before you start twitching, the girl can sing and this show in question...the most sexual its ever gottena nd will ever get: a kiss.
were not talking half naked here, were talking fully dressed to the point where all you see is her head and lower arms!
anyways, all thsi to say: someone get me a ticker out of here!