The Older I Get, the Less I Know

Today, Monday December 17 2012, just before the apocalypse and I am standing in my kitchen, feeling ... helpless. We reel at yet another senseless tragedy ... but shooting children?? Good God. A young, extremely intelligent and troubled young man walked into an elementary school in Newtown CT and shot a bunch of little kids. What? Is this a tasteless video game ad? 
 
And this most recent shooting spree follows so closely on the heels of our own sad memory/commemoration of the massacre of so many young women December 6, 1989. A young enraged man walked into the École Polytechnique and shot 28 people. He separated the men and the women, targeting women. He claimed he was fighting feminism.

The mind reels. The soul hurts.

Today, December 17 is a snowy fluffy white and gorgeous day here in Montréal. I feel helpless. I stand in my kitchen, watching my dog Chewy  roll joyfully in the snow in my backyard and I am terrified. I cannot imagine the pain of the those poor parents. 

Imma bake bread. The staff of life. Better than being paralysed with fear and helplessness, I suppose. I will bake bread and I will share it with people. I am using this recipe, with a few minor changes on my part, from one of my favourite food blogs.

I feel guilty that I don't suffer personally and that I am grateful for peace today.

I am going to stay in my jammies, drinking tea and cooking all day in my safe kitchen. Fuck it, I am cracking the vodka.